I don't look like what I'm going through!

I was taught to never look like what I'm going through. When I was just a little girl, I don't know if any of my other cousins remember but I do. It was said when you feel your worst, that is when you are suppose to look your best. Many people don't realize with the two chronic illnesses I have my roller coaster or yo-yo gets a little steeper and  the turns are a little sharper. It's hard to be surrounded by people who speculate instead of encourage. Our culture has destroyed anything that is to believe that is good and diminish the lights of people who shine. Negativity breeds like bacteria and hope is rarely, truly found without a price. Unless it is given from God. I often say to God please move me out of this place, period and time because sometimes in my heart, in all the matters that bother me this is not where I would see my personal sanctuary. But then I think ever so often flower's bloom in peculiar places. Coals have a process to turn into diamonds and gold is also perfected be the heat. There is beauty hidden in one's heart throughout all the imperfection's, no matter what a person looking in see's.

Then I started thinking why do I continue to look my best in front of such a rude, surely, sour acting group of people. Because it is a part of my equipment to fight, it makes me feel good to look good, it helps me smile when I don't even feel like it. I can sit back on snare remarks and gossip, just knowing I'm a good person inside and I most likely look better than you. God never meant for his people to look homely, unattractive, what you look like represents yourself  before you ever open your mouth. So therefor that's what I do, it's me, it's who I am, take it or leave it. Put a sock in your mouth cause you don't know my story, you just see what's going on in my appearance. I was taught to present myself well. But you don't know what pain I endure, what it took for me to get dress, how I feel in a crowd. Thank God I don't look like what I been through.