Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Taking Safe
So today is day five since I been off my Avonex and I do realize some problems but I'm still blessed for being here. I'm a little forgetful and my thinking is clouded. I have prepared a "just in case bag" and sat it below the counter. There is so much on my I don't know what to say this evening. For as talkative as I am, I'm nervous and have another brain fart. Maybe I should start by talking about the situation at hand of how I got here.
I started out on steroid's and that was definitely something that couldn't be a permanent solution, but it work wonderfully to me. It stop most of my symptoms and I was walking just fine. Coming off it felt like coming off crack or something. It wouldn't matter if you were put on it one time it felt horrible coming off. It took months to actually see a specialist and be put on Tysabri but having the JC virus put me at risk for being PML, which would leave me permanently disable. That possibility mortifies me, honestly I rather be dead than not to able to wipe myself or to move my arms. But at times my hands shake and I can barely grip now. I hide from people as much as possible. A couple months ago I was put on Avonex and it seem to be doing well, except I kept having migraines. Four months later, three eye doctor and a MRI showed finally that I was getting worse once I gotten off the Tysabri treatments. The Avonex wasn't working.
I started out on steroid's and that was definitely something that couldn't be a permanent solution, but it work wonderfully to me. It stop most of my symptoms and I was walking just fine. Coming off it felt like coming off crack or something. It wouldn't matter if you were put on it one time it felt horrible coming off. It took months to actually see a specialist and be put on Tysabri but having the JC virus put me at risk for being PML, which would leave me permanently disable. That possibility mortifies me, honestly I rather be dead than not to able to wipe myself or to move my arms. But at times my hands shake and I can barely grip now. I hide from people as much as possible. A couple months ago I was put on Avonex and it seem to be doing well, except I kept having migraines. Four months later, three eye doctor and a MRI showed finally that I was getting worse once I gotten off the Tysabri treatments. The Avonex wasn't working.
Fallen and I can't get up
So today is like the second day I've fallen in a row and a whole week off of my MS medication. I know scary, it hasn't been that long yet my body is getting so week so fast. I'm not remembering what I need to do. I really need to create a routine because things are so out of wack for me. I'm losing things left and right and I'm barely keeping my head above water. Thank God that he let's us look forward towards tomorrow.
I have so much going on right Between my childish neighbors, my disease on a rampage and me not thinking clearly besides the fact that I'm angry! hey!
I have so much going on right Between my childish neighbors, my disease on a rampage and me not thinking clearly besides the fact that I'm angry! hey!
Saturday, July 5, 2014
I'm not a profound speaker but I just like to talk. Right now I'm dead tired but I find myself on this mission on trying to find to find just the right setup and site for this purpose, whatever purpose this is. If that make's sense.........
We'll it's more for me and hopes to help someone down line with what I went through. Life isn't for all of us easy. And sometimes some of us unfortunately don't get the royal flush ever when we play. It's bad when you sit down for a game a card's and can't just get one good hand. You feel like you like you let your partner down, your a bad player, and you want to keep playing till you get a get a good hand. But the game has to end sometimes, mine may be sooner than other's. Not to speak it on myself, just the reality of my situation. Just Like the song say's today , " he woke me up this morning" so I'm greatfull. Till gravity hits anyway.
We'll it's more for me and hopes to help someone down line with what I went through. Life isn't for all of us easy. And sometimes some of us unfortunately don't get the royal flush ever when we play. It's bad when you sit down for a game a card's and can't just get one good hand. You feel like you like you let your partner down, your a bad player, and you want to keep playing till you get a get a good hand. But the game has to end sometimes, mine may be sooner than other's. Not to speak it on myself, just the reality of my situation. Just Like the song say's today , " he woke me up this morning" so I'm greatfull. Till gravity hits anyway.
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