Only 19 more day till Walk MS 2015!
Monday, March 30, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Something like De Ja Vu
Have you ever felt like you take for granted. I don't want to forget what I been through because I never want to go back to that point again. I always the about where I'm at in life, that I'm not where I want to be. Truth is I can go back to that state at any moment. Just a thought, as I was in the restroom. I was in the same place at the same time when I could barely get up on my own. For that I'm thankful, but I want so much more for myself.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Hello World, I did'nt forget I do have a blog!
Oh wow,
It's been a while since I have logged in. My thoughts would be that I need to say something today, but I would get distracted. This year has been full of great things happening in my life despite how my body feels or acts. I count it as a plus that I am still walking, and able to function. Complaining about my life is something that I am trying to grow out of because the Lord has blessed me and I can begin to see he has plans for me. It's in the bible read it, lol. Jerimaih 29:11, Pslam 138:8, and if you need encouragement today.
Matthew 10:8 ESV
"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay".
In order to activate this scripture you have to believe it, and have faith. It took me a while to really understand that versus. I put my trust in the Lord, but who's to say if he would help me. Sorry to jibjab about it. But it stands true for where I am currently at in my life living with MS. You are what you think and what you take in. If your mind is full or negative, your lifestyle may be black and white, very narrow with no where to go. But if you begin to dwell on the possibilities of what you want to accomplish in your life. Think of those things that are loving, truth, and inspiring your mind begins to open up to bigger achievements than you would ever imagine or your life.
This may be a different post than what I usually would do, but as I began to speak positive things over my life my mindset has changed. Don't get me wrong the world and my disease is still there and I am reminded everyday through my capabilities sometimes. But I got to tell I feel better because I let go of the anger that comes along with dealing about issue's of my life. It only hurts you, if you don't forgive yourself, or forgive others.
It's disgusting how people act towards others who are ready experiencing life changing matters. I've dealt with discrimination because at times my physical state looked horrible, your companion will turn they back on you then talk about you, and you can just feel thrown away. Please don't be discourage just keep on living because regardless of any event's that have happen in our life we have victory and can overcome obstacles.
The latest news on me, is that I'm busy. Trying to return to school for my B.S. in Health care Management with a specialty of Information Technology. Looking for resources where I can get help on my personal question's about MS. I have Dr. Zabeti here at the Wadell center for MS and he does a phenomenal job. I'm seeking women question that I know he never thought about. Looking to get information on something that is just as effective as chemo but less harmless. On top of managing things in my life, I have became involved in my church which is working wonders in my attitude, life, pushing forward. That will be a subject for another day.
Wishing everyone the best,
KH
It's been a while since I have logged in. My thoughts would be that I need to say something today, but I would get distracted. This year has been full of great things happening in my life despite how my body feels or acts. I count it as a plus that I am still walking, and able to function. Complaining about my life is something that I am trying to grow out of because the Lord has blessed me and I can begin to see he has plans for me. It's in the bible read it, lol. Jerimaih 29:11, Pslam 138:8, and if you need encouragement today.
Matthew 10:8 ESV
"Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay".
In order to activate this scripture you have to believe it, and have faith. It took me a while to really understand that versus. I put my trust in the Lord, but who's to say if he would help me. Sorry to jibjab about it. But it stands true for where I am currently at in my life living with MS. You are what you think and what you take in. If your mind is full or negative, your lifestyle may be black and white, very narrow with no where to go. But if you begin to dwell on the possibilities of what you want to accomplish in your life. Think of those things that are loving, truth, and inspiring your mind begins to open up to bigger achievements than you would ever imagine or your life.
This may be a different post than what I usually would do, but as I began to speak positive things over my life my mindset has changed. Don't get me wrong the world and my disease is still there and I am reminded everyday through my capabilities sometimes. But I got to tell I feel better because I let go of the anger that comes along with dealing about issue's of my life. It only hurts you, if you don't forgive yourself, or forgive others.
It's disgusting how people act towards others who are ready experiencing life changing matters. I've dealt with discrimination because at times my physical state looked horrible, your companion will turn they back on you then talk about you, and you can just feel thrown away. Please don't be discourage just keep on living because regardless of any event's that have happen in our life we have victory and can overcome obstacles.
The latest news on me, is that I'm busy. Trying to return to school for my B.S. in Health care Management with a specialty of Information Technology. Looking for resources where I can get help on my personal question's about MS. I have Dr. Zabeti here at the Wadell center for MS and he does a phenomenal job. I'm seeking women question that I know he never thought about. Looking to get information on something that is just as effective as chemo but less harmless. On top of managing things in my life, I have became involved in my church which is working wonders in my attitude, life, pushing forward. That will be a subject for another day.
Wishing everyone the best,
KH
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Fear of the unknown
It is said in Acts it is not for us to worry about the time of the season because it is in God's Authority. I want to say I worry because I'm human, but also heartbroken that people let others live like this. And as I experience these different circumstances, a person is only as good as the knowledge they retain. All I should be worried about is getting better, and it almost seems impossible. It takes a lot of prayer, and will power to want to survive through your greatest trial's. I often wonder how people prevent themselves from breaking down. Or even why another person would want to see you all broken down but still barely want to help you. I try my best not to keep a negative attitude but sometimes it's like wading through the marshes. It's uncomfortable, you never know what your walking through and if your not careful it could be deadly. I guess that's why I started this blog. In the past besides working, what I've always enjoyed the most is making my personal experience count in a way that it must touch others. You can either hate me or love me, but either at onetime or another I gave you all I could at the time.
At this time, it crucial that I give all I got to have a quality of life. It's funny how one day your strong enough to take on the whole world but the next day sometimes you can barely lift up your head. Because this disease is so unpredictable, and there is a real lack of connection between doctor and patient, and/or knowledge base of neurological diseases amongst the medical field we suffer.
There are some things that just don't make sense, when your sick you go to the doctor, get your medicine, get better so you can join the fight again. As to are many that never think there is nothing wrong with you so they disregard you and basically throw you away, like your out for the count. It is so frustrating to be in a almost helpless state. By the time I was getting the help I need I was losing my speech. And every once in awhile it still goes. All I can think of is never lose your own voice because no one else can speak on your behalf better than you.
It's hard to stay well when even most of the time doctors, and the different social services don't understand or believe in your sickness or the things that are necessary to keep you functioning. Seriously, sometimes I want to lose my temperament and say would you like to trade places, I could see if there was something I could've done to prevent me from being ill. But my illness and the wide range of its parameter's are still being defined.
I often get anxiety of this perplexed situations, because I always asked the Lord when. When am I completely get well, why so many intense treatments, how and how long can I make all these financial issues at bay. Being on disability is pointless, especially if you have ever worked. It is hard for a person who isn't elderly to get services and treatments that they need to recover or have a quality of life standard. I fear the most of having to go without medicine and treatments that has turned my situation around. How am I going to maintain myself, even though I'm not fully recovered. I'm afraid that I might yet have to risk my wellbeing to show job and family services (just them for right now) that you can't just cut someone off . I want to make a plan, but without being discriminated against( because it's still there) I won't able to hold my own without going through the ringer again. Again this is just my fears but they are valid. I'm educated and have tremendous amount of work experience. I loved my work, but have no clue of what my future may hold because it didn't go as planned.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Insurance Issues, Why is that a problem for peolpe who need the help?
One of the biggest and unneeded stressors while fighting a chronic illness is having financial, and insurance issues. Dealing with medical debt can drive you straight into bankruptcy, and having you scrounging around for food at home, going to pantry's, seeking community help like your local church's, Salvation Army, and more. Job and Family Service's is suppose to be there to fill in the gap, but they have been too consume with catching and preventing fraudulent applicants we slip through the cracks.
I go through issues with Job and Family Service's for many reason, they no longer are providing social workers directly through their service. I'm young so people don't understand why I can not work at this current time. I think that comes from not looking at the case, they are just looking at the minimum to get through the phone call. Dealing with different services gives me the blues, and I wish I was able to work and get receive good insurance. But the fact is even though I'm getting better, I am not strong enough to work, my endurance to just get through a day is very low. Although my abilities have strengthen it takes a toll on my body. I use my strength to walk or clean my house, which I never have been able to get through cleaning my little apartment in one or two days. Then for the next few days I pay for it, I'm stuck in bed. Really wish I didn't have to deal with these different issues.
The truth is if I return to work or get regular insurance my chemotherapy or immune defeinciey drugs will not be covered. Not to mention all my medications are tier 3 and 4 drugs. Which means they are very costly or they or not covered at all.
What I found out here in Ohio they have two systems which determine Medicaid. You can do a job and family services application but if your denied, ask for an appeal or if your eligible through the OIES program. There is no information on this update and caseworker's do have to go out of they way because it's not connected to the OJFS. This program came out 2014, and still has a lot of bugs. But its worth the hassle if your medical bills exceed your yearly income. I know mines do, with all the hospitalization, infusions, and treatments.
Truth is no one is going to hand you or show you where you can get help. Each couple months I have to come up with back up plans, looking for medical assistance. I request Financial assistance forms from the hospital I'm treated commonly. I have to map out public assistance places like the pantry's, church's, local organizations as well as national foundation that give out scholarship's. As well as manufacturer discount's and assistance where they will help pay or pay for it all themselves because of my income. At this point I just need to save the information on my hard- drive cause I go through these issue's to often since I was diagnosed in 2013.
What I learn is people don't care what you are already fighting, you have to be your own advocate as much as possible or you will never get better. Your situation might get worse, which that was what happen to me until I started fighting and learning how the health system is setup and works. That is very important no matter where you live, each county and state go by different rules. I'm finding that it is more important than ever to be a register voter so we can vote for our Medicaid and Medicare issues. You have to write in to your local representatives, to get them to understand that society is still having issues with the health system. Speak for yourself, don't let no one else speak for you. In all this I'm saying you must fight in every aspect hard to receive improvement and just have a quality of life.
I go through issues with Job and Family Service's for many reason, they no longer are providing social workers directly through their service. I'm young so people don't understand why I can not work at this current time. I think that comes from not looking at the case, they are just looking at the minimum to get through the phone call. Dealing with different services gives me the blues, and I wish I was able to work and get receive good insurance. But the fact is even though I'm getting better, I am not strong enough to work, my endurance to just get through a day is very low. Although my abilities have strengthen it takes a toll on my body. I use my strength to walk or clean my house, which I never have been able to get through cleaning my little apartment in one or two days. Then for the next few days I pay for it, I'm stuck in bed. Really wish I didn't have to deal with these different issues.
The truth is if I return to work or get regular insurance my chemotherapy or immune defeinciey drugs will not be covered. Not to mention all my medications are tier 3 and 4 drugs. Which means they are very costly or they or not covered at all.
What I found out here in Ohio they have two systems which determine Medicaid. You can do a job and family services application but if your denied, ask for an appeal or if your eligible through the OIES program. There is no information on this update and caseworker's do have to go out of they way because it's not connected to the OJFS. This program came out 2014, and still has a lot of bugs. But its worth the hassle if your medical bills exceed your yearly income. I know mines do, with all the hospitalization, infusions, and treatments.
Truth is no one is going to hand you or show you where you can get help. Each couple months I have to come up with back up plans, looking for medical assistance. I request Financial assistance forms from the hospital I'm treated commonly. I have to map out public assistance places like the pantry's, church's, local organizations as well as national foundation that give out scholarship's. As well as manufacturer discount's and assistance where they will help pay or pay for it all themselves because of my income. At this point I just need to save the information on my hard- drive cause I go through these issue's to often since I was diagnosed in 2013.
What I learn is people don't care what you are already fighting, you have to be your own advocate as much as possible or you will never get better. Your situation might get worse, which that was what happen to me until I started fighting and learning how the health system is setup and works. That is very important no matter where you live, each county and state go by different rules. I'm finding that it is more important than ever to be a register voter so we can vote for our Medicaid and Medicare issues. You have to write in to your local representatives, to get them to understand that society is still having issues with the health system. Speak for yourself, don't let no one else speak for you. In all this I'm saying you must fight in every aspect hard to receive improvement and just have a quality of life.
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