What God says vs how you feel.

One thing about me is I know how to hold a grudge. It could be decades later you can try and hug me or say Hi. All types of curse words will fly through my head, and I will look at you like you stank. Or "I say girl/boy that was a long time ago." What I'm really thinking is how can I get close enough to cut your juggler. Forgiveness and moving on is necessary. I know it is for our own self. But deep down we still feel the pain. The root of bitterness. It can ruin anything else in your life when your trying to prosper. I guess that is why the word says God looks at the heart, when men look at the outward appearance. Bitterness is hard to up root. And while I work on that issue, I encounter sisters in Christ who act like they been saved all they life. And you can quote scripture to me, I will flat out say I know what the word say, and I understand what your staying.But I don't care. Ministry involves practical solutions with the enrichment of the word. Everyone doesn't operate on the same level and gift. Quit trying to put a circle in the spot that fits a square.